Look, if I could tell my story in five neat little packages that were conveniently both chronological and thematic, I wouldn't have started a website.

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​The next section goes into more detail about some of the issues and specialists I've encountered that warrant a little more attention.

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I have many more stories, tragedies, complaints, humblebrags, photos, and rants - bits that I've cut from these longer pieces and ones yet unwritten - that I will add to the site from time to time.